


Tacky Sweater

by dontpanicbutterknife



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Christmas, Kinky, M/M, Parent/Child Incest, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 11:37:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontpanicbutterknife/pseuds/dontpanicbutterknife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John hates Christmas. Why? Because every year he never gets one thing on his list, just the same old ugly Christmas-themed sweaters his dad loves. This year, though, he asks for something a little different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tacky Sweater

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT (4/25/16) : A bit of backstory, considering this fic is pretty fucking old. I wrote this on Christmas for my boyfriend at the time, and decided to post it here for some reason lol
> 
> I don't take it too seriously, and I hope you don't either. If you enjoy, great! I'm glad you are entertained. If you are so disgusted you vomit a little in your mouth, I'm glad my 2012 self could get such a strong reaction out of you.

 John Egbert hated the holidays for one reason. He always got clothes for Christmas. Always. It's not that he hated getting clothes, they were always trendy and comfortable, but he felt like his father was giving him clothes as gifts because maybe he didn't know what John was really interested in getting. He even made him a list of things some years, but it always got misplaced or overlooked somehow. John was afraid his dad didn't care enough to get him that new video game, or the latest version of iPhone his best friend Dave got for Veterans Day.

Why did Dave get a gift for Veterans Day, let alone a new iPhone? Because his brother was loaded. And he and Dave were banging. That's why.

Unfortunately, John and his dad were not banging. Perhaps if they were then John would be getting better gifts. But alas... John was doomed to spend every Christmas of his life with the expectation of receiving another embarrassing sweater to be left in his closet for the moths.

This year was no exception.

John was counting down the days. Not out of excitement for Christmas morning, but for the whole ordeal to be finally over with. This didn't mean he wasn't sneaking down from his room every night to check under their nicely decorated and lit up tree in the front room. It seemed everyday now another present was being added to the pile. A pile, which was, noticeably larger than the year preceding it.

John was actually beginning to believe maybe his father had gotten him  one of the things on this year's list. It wasn't likely, but now definitely a possibility.

Three days from Christmas now, and Dave and Bro had come up to celebrate with them since they didn't have family to hang with during the holidays. The twins and Grandpa came the next day, and Rose and Mom were only staying for dinner Christmas Eve, so they arrived the day after that. The Egbert house was now pretty full, and the present pile was bigger than ever.

That Christmas Eve, everyone came together and sat down for dinner. Dad didn't bake a cake, but had made a pie; Mom had put away the liquor until after dinner and was drinking some eggnog; and Dave and Bro had stopped making out long enough to actually sit down and eat something this year. It was turning out to be quite the occasion.

After their Christmas dinner, everyone sat around the fire place, and as tradition, everyone exchanged gifts, then continued with their second tradition of the night before Christmas. The tradition of the kids opening one gift on Christmas Eve.

The twins were first. They usually got two of everything because of similar interests, save for the occasional copy of Han Solo and gardening tools that were just packaged in the same wrapping paper. Jake and Jade ripped open their gifts together and both gasped seeing two brand new 12 gauge hunting rifles. They both jumped up and hugged their grandpa, as he laughed jovially. He promised them they'd all go hunting again once they returned home.

Rose was next, and was particularly excited to have gotten the book she'd had her eye on for some time from her mother, and even managed a kiss from her once she was done reading the back cover. December was the only month she and her mom could stand each other. The winter holiday cheer melting their icy hearts just enough to tolerate the other for a good few weeks.

Bro's gift to Dave wasn't wrapped. He just handed him a stack of about ten new CDs and tracks he'd mixed himself with a big pink bow stuck on the top one with some scotch tape. Dave didn't complain. As a thank you they made out for about a minute before Dad had to clear his throat to get them to stop before they completely forgot they were still in the presents of family and began to undress each other.

John was too distracted from the show to notice his Dad pick out a medium sized box from under the tree and walk back over. John only noticed when his Dad came right over and handed it to him.

John looked up at his father as he took the gift from him.

"Merry Christmas, John," his dad said to him before ruffling his hair; knocking his glasses sideways.

John straightened them. "Merry Christmas..." he mumbled in reply. He then lifted the lid off the box and set it aside, large bow and ribbon fluttering before the lid hit his carpet with a pfft. John was a little afraid to look inside the box.

"Well? What the hell is it?" Dave yelled from his seat on the couch.

John reached inside and felt something scratchy. Oh no. Oh god no. Please god, please let it not be so.

John pulled out a nice, handmade, tacky Christmas sweater. He held it up so he could see. It was a dull red, and was a bit loose looking, with a larger than usual head hole. In the middle of the sweater was a pale gold stripe and a scene that depicted a forest with reindeer and little pine trees. In the sky were twinkling stars; the largest being the north star up on the right side. One the ends of the red sleeves were little golden snowflakes. It was beautiful. In a tacky Christmas sweater kind of way.

John hated it.

"John? John, what do you think?" Someone was asking him. John looked up and to his left. It was his father, still standing over him. "I made it myself. Accidentally finished off all our red yarn."

John didn't know what to think. Other than disappointed, he had no idea what he was to think of this... thing. "I... it's great, Dad, thanks." He couldn't break his father's heart. At least not when Dave was giving him the 'your dad totally worked his dick off making that ugly ass thing for you and you know it' face. That or he was just giving John the bedroom eyes.

Everyone but John's dad could see he was lying.

"Hey, John, how 'bout you put it on," Bro said, drunken grin on his face. Looks like Bro and Dave weren't gonna make it back to their hotel tonight. No way Dad was gonna let Bro drive when he was this drunk.

John tried to shove it back in the box, but his Dad liked Bro's idea. "Please, John? It would make me very happy to see you in it."

"PUT IT ON! PUT IT ON!" Dave yelled from where he sat, leaning against Bro. Maybe he was drunk too.

Mom giggled. "Come on Johnny, let's see you in that adorbs sweater!" God, was anyone at this party sober?

John groaned, then stood, and slipped it on over his head. It was way too big on him, and the hole for his head hung off one of his shoulders no matter how he wore it. He looked back up at everyone and blushed. This was pretty damn embarrassing.

Jade was practically squealing from where she sat. "Oh my god, John! You look like you're a little kid again! That thing is freaking huge on you!"

John looked away from her. Why couldn't he have gotten a gun? He would much rather have a gun than another stupid sweater. There was no practical use for these sweaters anyway. They were itchy, and dumb looking, and you could only wear them once a year. John could find ten more uses for a gun than a sweater without even having to load one.

Rose was the only one who was probably taking this seriously. "You look very nice, John. It suits you." He didn't really know if that counted as a compliment.

"Dashing!" Jake added.

"Gayyyyy," came from one of the Striders. John couldn't say which though.

It was then that Dad called everyone back to the dining room for golden apple pie and vanilla ice cream. Everyone dropped the gifts they were holding and raced to get a slice and scoop. Dave and Grandpa were the only ones with enough room to come back for seconds.

Once everyone had their fill of dessert, and the clock struck eleven, the guests began to pick up their coats and get their shoes. Grandpa and the twins had to catch their flight home in a few hours, so they headed out then for the airport. Rose got Mom's things together for her and then drove her to their little vacation home up in Seattle. As John had expected, Dad forced Bro and Dave to stay since they were both hammered, and had to direct them to the guest bedroom. They both passed out on the guest bed before they could get undressed.

After that, Dad returned to the front room, where he took his chair by the fireplace, and began reading one of his classic WWII novels he kept by his chair for late, snowy nights like this. He'd go to bed around midnight.

John was expected to be getting ready for bed then, but instead, he was standing by the front door, still dressed in that godawful sweater, waiting for his father to acknowledge his presents. It only took a minute before Dad looked over.

"John? Something the matter?" He asked as he pulled out his old pipe from the breast pocket on his own, less tacky, less outrageously Christmas themed green and red striped sweater. He put some fresh tobacco in his pipe and lit it, waiting for John to speak.

"Um, yeah Dad, something is actually the matter." Dad said nothing, so John walked up to him. "It's my present."

Dad made no change in expression. "You don't like your gift?"

"It's not that, it's great... it's just... I've gotten at least one sweater every year for Christmas, Dad." John was pulling at the hem of the sweater; a habit he'd had since he was little. "I even left you a list of other things I wanted for Christmas--I always do--but all I ever get is clothes. Every year. And I'm kind of sick of it."

His father sighed and set his pipe down on the little table beside his chair. Oh no. John had upset him. "John... I'm sorry. I know you don't enjoy them as much as I do, and I did look at your list, I really did. I'm sorry I let you down on Christmas Eve." Oh god, John felt awful. He wanted to put a word in, tell his dad it was okay, he really did like the sweater after all, but his father wasn't finished talking. "I think I know a way I can make it up to you. Go ahead and pick out another gift to you under the tree. Anyone. Go ahead and open it. I'm sorry I let you down."

John didn't know what to say. Was his dad serious? They still had a good half an hour before it was actually Christmas; John was never allowed to open presents before hand. Maybe his dad had actually gotten something for him from his list.

John didn't question it more than that. He walked straight over to the tree and picked out the closest present that was meant for him. He was suddenly very excited. He shook the box. It didn't make a sound. It wasn't heavy either. He tried to stare at the shape and imagine inside there would be a copy of that new movie that came out right before Thanksgiving he'd seen a few times in the theaters. That cute new Disney movie with the video game characters.

Enough trying to figure out what it was, John tore off the hideous wrapping paper and opened the box it concealed. Inside was not, in fact, a copy of Wreck-It Ralph, but a pair of those cheap reindeer antlers. John couldn't believe it.

He held them up and looked them over. Yep. Definitely not a movie. They even had a little bell on the ear. It tinkled when he turned the antlers over and over wondering to himself _'Is this some kind of sick joke?'_

"Oh my gosh, John, I'm sorry," Dad said from where he sat in his chair. "Just go ahead and open another one. I'm so sorry."

John rolled his eyes. He should have expected this. He was doomed to never get anything he wanted for Christmas.

Out of not having anyplace to put them but the floor, John adorned himself with the antlers. He felt pretty ridiculous.

This time he picked out the biggest package addressed to him. To be honest, it really wasn't that big. This one was light as well, but made a thunking noise when he shook the box. The little elves on the wrapping paper stared back at John, freaking him out a bit. He tore that off without a second thought.

Inside this box was a container of coffee mix, candy canes, Christmas tree cookies, and chocolate. At least it was better than a sweater. John ripped open the box of candy canes and began sucking on one.

He then glanced at his father, who just gestured for him to open another present. John did.

He didn't even bother to shake the next box, and just opened it. He pulled out something furry. Unfortunately, it was not a puppy, as he originally thought. It turned out to be... a tail. A little fawn tail on the end of what looked like a rubber stopper of some sort.

John dropped it, and then spun around to look at his dad. "Is that a butt plug?" He demanded.

Dad didn't look surprised to see it. "Maybe it's from Dave."

John left it where it was on the floor before opening his next gift. In this one there were a pair of red, light gold, and green stockings. John groaned. More clothes.

"Put them on."

John turned back around to see his father was still sitting there in his chair, smoking his pipe.

"What?"

"Put them on," Dad repeated.

John paused for another minute before he stripped out of his pants and socks and slipped them on. They went up almost all the way to his crotch, but stopped just short. They were actually pretty comfortable.

He shifted the candy cane to the other side of his mouth, getting the peppermint flavor on both sides, before he turned back to his dad. Mr. Egbert looked strangely satisfied from what John could tell in the low light of the fire crackling next to his chair.

"And the shirt."

"My shirt?" John asked, "Not the sweater too?"

"Just the shirt. Keep the sweater on."

This was starting to get weird, but John didn't protest. He pulled off the sweater and then took off his shirt, tossing it aside before putting the sweater back on. It itched terribly and rubbed against his skin, especially uncomfortable against his bare nipples, which were somewhat pert from being exposed to the cold now. John shivered.

"Are you cold?" Dad asked, catching it.

John nodded a bit.

"Bring the rest of your gifts over here by the fire. You'll be warmer."

John picked up everything he'd unwrapped so far and dropped them in front of his father, then picked up the last few unopened boxes still under the tree and brought them over as well.

Dad patted his lap. "Come sit John."

This was a forgotten family tradition. When John was very young, he'd try to stay awake through Christmas night to try to catch Santa in the act of leaving him presents. He'd sit in his father's lap as Dad read stories to him while he waited for the old Saint Nick to show up. John always ended up falling asleep on his dad before he'd show up though. When John was old enough to understand that Santa was only his father, the tradition died.

Right now John walked over and sat without hesitation. His father was warm, the fire too, and John let himself snuggle up with him before picking up another present to unwrap.

This next one was in a bag. He pulled out the rococo tissue paper and tossed it aside, before digging his hand in to retrieve his prize. What he pulled out was not what he'd expected. In his hand he held a slinky little girdle, probably meant to hold up those stockings of his. He put them aside as he opened his last gift.

A container of eggnog flavored icing.

John looked back at his dad. It was pretty obvious now what he was trying to pull.

"Any other gifts, Dad?" John asked. So far nothing he'd asked for was on his list.

Dad thought for a minute, then set down his pipe again. "Just one." He pointed over at John's pile of opened gifts. "Go get your tail."

John stared at him a minute before getting out of his lap to retrieve the sex toy. Perhaps he would be getting one thing on his list this year. He picked it up off the floor, and while he was up, stepped into the girdle, and used it to clip his stockings to keep them up. Once they were in place and supported, he lowered that dumb sweater over his girdle.

John then returned to his dad's lap, facing him this time. The bell on his reindeer ear tinkled as he did.

Dad put a hand on John's hip through his sweater. "John, do you remember when you were smaller, and I would read to you here by the fire? You've grown up into such a fine young man, son."

"Thanks, Dad."

"John." Dave moved one hand to John's head, brushing back his bangs. "Remember when you'd call me Daddy?"

John smiled a little. It looked like he just might get what he wanted. "Yes, Daddy."

Dad gave him a smile and squeezed his shoulder. "That's my boy. Here, hand me your tail." John did as his father said. His dad wiped off whatever dust was on it with his hand. "This might hurt, John..."

He put both hands on John's hips and began to slide down his underwear that he still had on. John somewhat got out of his laps so he could slide them off of himself, then returned to his daddy's lap. His father's hands slid around to hold his bottom, rubbing and making circles in it with his fingers.

"Have I been good this year?" John asked.

"Of course, John. You've been very, very good."

John could feel the cold rubber of the buttplug against his entrance now. He shuddered a bit and clung to his dad, trying to get him to realize it was cold. He shifted the candy cane in his mouth again, and whined a bit as Dad began pushing it in.

"Don't you like your gift, John?" Dad whispered, his breath hot against John's neck.

John nodded. He liked it very much.

Dad stopped half way in and began kissing John's neck softly. "Daddy..." John whined, pressing back against the sex toy a bit, trying to get him to keep going.

 

"Not so fast, Johnny, you don't want to rush such a good thing, do you?" John knew he was just doing this to get you hot and bothered. John had no idea his dad would find so much pleasure in watching him squirm on top of him. John could actually feel what could be a boner poking his underside.

 

"But Dadd--" John cuts himself off as he gasps for breath when his dad begins to bite and nibbled on his neck. In the midst of this, Dad slid the sex toy the rest of the way in, making John arch his back and press himself against his dad and gasp again. Now, John was breathing too heavily to so much as get a word in.

 

Dad left him like that for a good minute before moving a hand up to flick his little bell back and forth a bit while John got used to the feeling of the plug. Dad returned his pipe back to his mouth and held it between his lips as he began brushing at John's nipples through his sweater.

 

John winced. "Daddy... it's scratchy..."

 

"I'm sorry, John," Dad said before slipping his hands up the sweater and began teasing him with his bare hands. "Is this better?"

 

John nodded. He'd much rather have his dad feeling up his boner, but there was still plenty of time for that. He did accidentally grind himself down against his father though, showing how desperate he was for contact now.

 

"John, John," Dad says, releasing John's nipples. "Don't get ahead of yourself young man." He reached a hand around and took the deer tail in his fist, pulling it out slightly by the rubber. John moaned and pressed himself against his daddy, gripping at the other's sweater as his dad pushed it back inside him, then repeated.

 

"Dad... more..." John begged, pressing back against the toy again. His father chuckled, then pulled it out completely before slamming it back into John, making him shudder with pleasure.

 

"You like your toy John?" John nodded. "Or would you rather have me in you?"

 

John looked up at him, and they locked eyes. Dad knew the answer, he just wanted John to say it. John bit his lower lip and shifted in his dad's lap. "Daddy..."

 

"I don't hear an answer, John."

 

"I want you."

 

"Want me to what?"

 

"I want you to fuck me!"

 

Dad shook his head. "Didn't I teach you better, John? I guess I could save the lessons for later, since it is Christmas Eve." He took out the plug and put it on the little table beside his chair. "Get me your gift there." He pointed to the eggnog icing.

 

John reluctantly got up from his father's lap and retrieved it from where it sat on the floor. He handed it to Dad before crawling up onto him again, moving his legs so that they were in the spaces on either side of his dad. He shifted in his lap, getting comfortable while also sliding his hard cock against Dad's crotch, trying to guide he dad's attention to it.

 

"Tsk, tsk," Dad said, noticing. "Aren't I giving you enough, John?"

 

"Not even close!" John replied. With a sudden loss impulse control, he moved what was left of his candy cane to the back of his mouth, and kissed his father on the lips. He let himself give into his dad and give up whatever control he had left of himself. He was at Dad's mercy now, and he was loving it.

 

Dad was only a second hesitant to kiss back, putting a hand on John's neck, keeping him close. John closed his eyes and turned his head, and gave himself up completely. His dad was just too good. Everything about him was a trap for John. The still faint smell of aftershave and that pie he'd made for dessert, the juxtaposition of his sweet lips on John's peppermint ones.

 

John opened his mouth and allowed Dad's tongue to slide in against his, letting him get a taste of what was left of that candy cane. John was too involved in the kiss to notice Dad uncap the icing and squirt some into his hand. He hardly noticed when the smell of eggnog reached his nose. He didn't notice until he felt cold, wet fingers teasing his entrance. John jumped a bit in surprise.

 

"Shhh, it's okay, just a little lubricant. You're going to need it," Dad said, sliding a finger in him. John winced again. There wasn't much more stretching to be done, the butt plug had pretty much handled that.

 

As he added a second finger, John wrapped his arms more around his dad and panted against his neck, needing this more than ever. He shuddered and shook and forced himself against his father, moaning for his daddy, and pressed little kisses on his neck and cheek as thanks. When Dad removed his fingers John whined again.

 

"Patients, John, Daddy's hurrying..." Dad undid his belt and zipper, getting his pants down enough to coax out his erection. John stared down at it as Dad began to coat it in the icing, slicking it up all nice for him. John never thought he'd ever be hungry for anything covered in icing that much.

 

John shifted again, eagerly this time as his father put a hand on his butt and tried to reposition him over his cock. He could feel his pulse in his throat and his own erection twitching a bit with excitement.

 

Dad kissed him on his cheek. "This may hurt," he warned, then used his hands to help him keep John in place and slide himself inside. John arched himself against his dad, and moaned gently against his ear. "Should we stop?"

 

"No!" John blurted out, not wanting this to end anytime soon. His dad was so warm and nice inside him. He wanted more. He just wanted more of him. John moved again, this time, pressing himself down against Dad, forcing his dick deeper inside him. He moaned and squirmed with pleasure, and Dad smirked watching him enjoying this Christmas so much.

 

Dad took a puff from his pipe. "What would you like me to do then, John?"

 

John was against him again, weak and full of pleasure. "I want you to fuck me... I want you to fuck me until I scream and wake up Dave and Bro..."

 

Dad took John's face in his hand and force John to look at him. Dad kissed him. "I believe I can do that, since you've been such a good boy... But you need to help yourself too. There's not much I can do when I'm sitting in this chair."

 

John nodded and looked down between them, and put his hands on the chair's arms for support before lifting himself from Dad's dick slightly, then pushed himself back down. He groaned. It was hard work, but it was so worth it.

 

As John set a pattern of pulling himself up nearly off of his father's throbbing member, then forcing himself back down, his dad ran his fingers though John's hair, played with his antlers, or teased at his nipples or penis. The entire time Dad gave his own little collection of compliments to John.

 

"You're so tight, Johnny, you're such a good boy."

 

John love it. He loved all of it. He loved the attention of his father and the raw feeling of them together and him riding his dick. He just wanted more. He wanted his dad deeper and harder. He wanted to just be so filled up by him.

 

"Daddy..." John whined, rutting his hips up against his father, making his dick poke into Dad's stomach. "Please... I want more..."

 

Dad turned away for a second to grab the buttplug that he'd put on the table next to his chair. He slicked it up with icing as well as John was busy bouncing on his dick again, and then pressed it as well against John's entrance along side his dick.

 

"You want more John?" John nodded desperately, his eyelids heavy and his eyes clouded with ecstasy. Dad held John's hip and began to slide in the sex toy alongside his dick.

 

"Daddy, you're gonna break me..."

 

Dad kissed John, "I'll be careful, I promise." He managed to get it in, stretching John even farther than before, and John was limp in his arms and moaning. This was what he needed.

 

Dad slid the toy out and John at the same time slid slightly off of his dick, and when John came back down, Dad thrust the toy back up into him as well. John could no longer hold the arms of the chair, and wrapped himself around his Dad, pressing his wet and shaking body against him.

 

John moaned, and screamed for him as they worked together, and soon Dad had his free hand on John's cock, pumping him as well as fucking him. John couldn't take much more. His face was flushed and voice hoarse from screaming, and with every thrust and pump from his father he just was being pushed closer and closer to his end.

 

"Daddy, can I cum?" John asked, his voice and body weak.

 

"Not yet, John. Wait until I say you can."

 

John tried to hold himself back, he tried so hard, but when his Dad shoved the toy back into him and struck his prostrate, he yelled out again, his body tensed, and  he came anyway all over his and his dad's sweaters.

 

"Oh John, look what you've done... You've made such a mess." Dad forced himself and the toy back into John, making him yelp again.

 

It wasn't long then and Dad came too, and John was breathing heavily against his neck once more, digging his nails into Dad's shoulders, and begging for more.

 

Now that they were both spent, Dad pulled out the plug, then pulled John off of him. He helped John take off his sweater, then took off his own, and set them aside. After that, he let John crawl back into his lap, and in a minute John was asleep against him.

 

Dad brushed back one of John's hairs as he watched his son's expression in his sleep, the crackling fire beside them giving him just enough light to make out a small smile on John's lips.

 

Perhaps the sweaters weren't so bad after all?

No, John still hated them.

**Author's Note:**

> the next morning dave and bro wake up and ask john why his new sweater is stained with cum and he can't think of a good reason so they make fun of him every year after that the end


End file.
